The Opening of Misty Beethoven – Distribpix (Blu-ray)

Theatrical Release Date: USA, 1976
Director: Radley Metzger (as "Henry Paris")
Writer: Radley Metzger (as "Jake Barnes")
Cast: Constance Money, Jamie Gillis, Calvin Culver, Jacqueline Beudant, Gloria Leonard, Terri Hall, Mark Margolis

Release Date: October 31st, 2012
Approximate Running Times: 86 Minutes 45 Seconds (Hardcore Version), 81 Minutes 15 Seconds (Softcore Version)
Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1 Widescreen / 1080 Progressive / MPEG-4 AVC (Both Versions)
Rating: NR
Sound: Dolby Digital Mono English (Both Versions), DTS-HD 5.1 English (Hardcore Version)
Subtitles: English, French, Italian, Spanish, German, Portuguese (Both Versions)
Region Coding: Region Free
Retail Price: OOP

"In his erotic retelling of George Bernard Shaw’s classic play Pygmalion, master director Radley Metzger transplants the action to 1970’s New York, Rome, and Paris. We follow noted sexologist Dr. Seymour Love (Jamie Gillis) as he sets himself the challenge of transforming lowly streetwalker Misty Beethoven (Constance Money) into the world’s greatest lover. With the help of his beautiful friend Geraldine (Jacqueline Beudant), Love devises an erotic training program with the goal of seeing Misty crowned “Goldenrod Girl” at famed publisher Lawrence Layman’s next wild party. Along the way, Misty refines her technique by seducing an impotent artist, bringing three uniformed butlers to climax simultaneously, and dallying with a rainbow-ceramic sex toy in one of the most arousing films ever created." - synopsis provided by the distributor

Video: 4.5/5 (Hardcore Version), 3.5/5 (Softcore Version)

Here’s the information provided about the transfer, “The Opening of Misty Beethoven (hot version) was scanned in 2K on a Golden Eye Film scanner using the original camera negatives for the 35mm segments and the 35mm blow-up internegative for the standard and super 16mm segments. Color was performed using The Da Vinci Resolve system. Frame by frame restoration (including the digital removal of thousands of instances of negative dirt fine scratches) was performed using The Phoenix Finish suite by Digital Vision.

The Opening of Misty Beethoven (cool version) was scanned in 2K on a Golden Eye Film scanner using the original 35mm blow-up interpositive. Color was performed using The Da Vinci Resolve system. Digital restoration was performed using The Phoenix Finish suite by Digital Vision.”

The Opening of Misty Beethoven comes on a 50 GB dual layer Blu-ray.

Disc Size: 45.5 GB

Feature: 20.9 GB (Hardcore Version), 9.4 GB (Softcore Version)

The source is in excellent shape; colors are nicely saturated, image clarity, black levels, and compression are solid, and the image retains an organic look. That said, the end result is nothing short of breathtaking. The softcore version also contains footage not present in the hardcore version.

Audio: 4.25/5 (DTS-HD 5.1 English), 3.75/5 (Dolby Digital Mono English - Both Versions)

All of the audio tracks are in great shape; the two mono tracks are comparable, and the 5.1 track is a surprisingly strong expansion of the mono source. Dialog always comes through clearly; everything sounds balanced and robust when it should. Included are removable English, French, Italian, Spanish, German, and Portuguese subtitles.

Extras:

Extras for this release include a slideshow and ephemera gallery with music from the film playing in the background (vintage reviews/stills/script pages/advertisements/awards), radio spots for Naked Came the Stranger and Maraschino Cherry (3 minutes 10 seconds, Dolby Digital mono English, no subtitles), a theatrical trailer for The Private Afternoons of Pamela Mann (5 minutes 59 seconds, Dolby Digital mono English, no subtitles), a theatrical trailer for Naked Came the Stranger (3 minutes 21 seconds, Dolby Digital mono English, no subtitles), a theatrical trailer for The Opening of Misty Beethoven (5 minutes 33 seconds, Dolby Digital mono English, no subtitles), a theatrical trailer for Barbara Broadcast (4 minutes 30 seconds, Dolby Digital mono English, no subtitles), a theatrical trailer for Maraschino Cherry (5 minutes 52 seconds, Dolby Digital mono English, no subtitles), outtakes/deleted scenes from The Opening of Misty Beethoven (24 minutes 16 seconds, Dolby Digital stereo, no dialog, music from the film playing in the background), a featurette titled The Restoration of Misty (25 minutes 58 seconds, Dolby Digital stereo English, no subtitles), a featurette Remembering Jamie Gillis (9 minutes, Dolby Digital stereo English, no subtitles), a featurette about Constance Money titled Desperately Seeking Susan: Constance Found (7 minutes 41 seconds, Dolby Digital stereo English, no subtitles), a featurette titled Cinetta Studios Revisited (3 minutes 8 seconds, Dolby Digital stereo, music from the film playing in the background), an interview with actor Jamie Gillis titled Jamie Gillis: The Final Interview (18 minutes 53 seconds, Dolby Digital stereo English, no subtitles), a documentary titled Behind the Scenes of Misty Beethoven (48 minutes 21 seconds, Dolby Digital stereo English, no subtitles), a film facts subtitle track, an audio commentary with director Radley Metzger and adult film historian Benson Hurst for the hardcore version, an audio commentary with actress Gloria Leonard for the softcore version, a collectable postcard with key art from this films promotional campaign, a magnet and promotional insert for this release of The Opening of Misty Beethoven, a postcard with key art from The Opening of Misty Beethoven, a promotional insert for The Opening of Misty Beethoven, a slipcover, and a 60-page booklet with liner notes written by Benson Hurst, Ian Culmell, and Lawrence Cohen, who discuss the film, the music, and critical analysis, respectively. The booklet also has information about the transfer.

Summary:

Seymour Love is a sexologist who believes that he can transform Misty Beethoven, a second-rate whore, into the next Golden Rod Girl. With limited time until the next high society party, Seymour, with the help of his friend Geraldine, works at a feverish pace with Misty to have her ready for her debut.

If you are experiencing déjà vu while watching The Opening of Misty Beethoven, that is because it is loosely based on George Bernard Shaw’s Pygmalion, which is known to a wider audience as My Fair Lady. Taking one of Hollywood's most beloved films, ‘My Fair Lady,’ and spicing it up for a more adult audience is pure genius. 

Though there are some well-made adult films from its golden age (a 15-year period that ran from 1969-84), most adult films from any era are known for their anemic plots and cringe-worthy dialog. This brings us to the films that Radley Metzger directed under the pseudonym Henry Paris. Radley Metzger's five adult films are widely considered some of the best ever made. His films are known for their exquisite visuals, lush production design, witty dialog, playful humor, and, most importantly, well-constructed narratives.

The Opening of Misty Beethoven is a film that’s overflowing with iconic moments, like a scene where Misty gets a man excited about the opera, and he takes her into the bathroom. The use of the ‘William Tell Overture’ perfectly emphasizes the immediacy of this moment. There is some slick intercutting going on in this scene; when Seymour is getting fellatio, his mind cuts to how Misty is doing. The scene appropriately ends with Seymour shouting, ‘Blast off!’ as he and the man in the bathroom stall simultaneously reach their climax. A ménage à trois where Misty puts on a strap-on and sodomizes a man is another notable moment.

Though adult films are derided and rightfully so for their bad acting, The Opening of Misty Beethoven boasts arguably the best adult cinema ever produced. Despite making a name for himself portraying rough-around-the-edges characters, Jamie Gillis does a superb job transforming himself into a cultured character like Seymour Love. The moments that he shares with Constance Money are oozing with chemistry. The supporting cast, Jacqueline Beaudant, Terri Hall, Ras Kean, and Gloria Leonard, are equally impressive in their roles.

The main attraction of The Opening of Misty Beethoven is Constance Money’s portrayal of the protagonist. She brings a sweetness and natural innocence that totally sells her in this role. Unfortunately, Constance Money would only make a handful of films before she retired, with her performance as Misty Beethoven being her greatest achievement in her brief career. Though she would appear in two more films directed by Radley Metzger, Barbara Broadcast and Maraschino Cherry, her scenes from these two films are discarded moments from The Opening of Misty Beethoven.

Another thing that sets the Henry Paris films apart from other adult films is their soundtracks; they are an eclectic mix of library tracks that help set up and shape the mood of each scene. The Opening of Misty Beethoven soundtrack has several notable selections, especially the use of classical music like the aforementioned ‘William Tell Overture’ and music from Italian composers Bruno Nicolai and Alessandro Alessandroni.

From a production standout, there is no adult film more grandiose than The Opening of Misty Beethoven. It’s a film where everything falls into place. The premise is superbly realized, and the narrative does a phenomenal job building momentum towards its payoff. Paul Glickman (under the pseudonym Robert Rochester), who worked with Radley Metzger on two other films, The Private Afternoons of Pamela Mann and Naked Came the Stranger, deserves recognition for his contributions. Ultimately, The Opening of Misty Beethoven is a visual feast for the eyes that set the standards for adult cinema so high that no other film has come close to ever eclipsing its majesty.

To date, the Distribpix release of The Opening of Misty Beethoven is the best home media release any adult film has ever released. As exceptional as the Distribpix release was, it is now OOP. That said, it is a travesty that such an important film remains out of circulation.

Written by Michael Den Boer