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Hardbodies - Mill Creek Entertainment (Blu-ray)

Theatrical Release Date: USA, 1984
Director: Mark Griffiths
Writers: Steve Greene, Eric Alter, Mark Griffiths
Cast: Grant Cramer, Teal Roberts, Gary Wood, Darcy DeMoss, Michael Rapport, Sorrells Pickard, Roberta Collins, Cindy Silver, Courtney Gains, Kristi Somers, Crystal Shaw Martell, Antony Ponzini, Kathleen Kinmont

Release Date: January 15th, 2019
Approximate Running Time: 86 Minutes 46 Seconds
Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1 Widescreen / 1080 Progressive / MPEG-4 AVC
Rating: R
Sound: DTS-HD Mono English
Subtitles: N/A
Region Coding: Region A
Retail Price: $14.98

"There's lots of naughty fun in the sun in this zany and sexy romp. Three divorced, middle-aged businessmen (Gary Wood, Sorrells Pickard, Michael Rapport) take to the beach in an effort to meet some hot, bikini-clad babes. But when they realize the ladies aren't exactly lining up for them, they hire a slick young con man (Grant Cramer) to school them in the finer points of scoring with women." - synopsis provided by the distributor

Video: 2.5/5

Hardbodies comes on a 25 GB single layer Blu-ray.

Disc Size: 21.7 GB

Feature: 21.6 GB

Flesh tones and colors look correct, image clarity is strong, and black levels are serviceable; there are compression and digital noise reduction-related issues.

Audio: 3/5

This release comes with one audio option, a DTS-HD mono mix in English. Though the audio sounds clear and balanced, range-wise there is no depth.

Extras:

Extras are limited to O-Card retro VHS packaging.

I had the opportunity to interview Mark Griffiths in 2009, and here is what he shared about Hardbodies.

Michael Den Boer: How did Hardbodies come about?

Mark Griffiths: We made Hardbodies on a shoestring and never expected it to be released widely (1900 theaters) by Columbia Pictures. Jeff Begun was brought onto the film.

Michael Den Boer: Casting-wise, I can’t imagine anyone else in the role of Rag. What was it like to work with Courtney Gains in one of his first feature films?

Mark Griffiths: I had known Courtney for three years before we made HB—he was in an acting class that I visited to redirect scenes. That’s also where I met Sorrells. I precast both of them, knowing their work and range.

Michael Den Boer: Besides the two colorful lead characters, Scotty and Rag. One of the most enjoyable aspects of Hardbodies is its clever dialog. Was the dialog in the film as it appeared in the screenplay, or was any of it ad-libbed?

Mark Griffiths: I told Court about the scene in HB where he flips off the geeks and asked him to come up with a routine of flip-offs from around the world. While he was off filming Children of the Corn, he worked it out. Most of the lines in the film were scripted, but we did improv where necessary. It helped that I knew Court and Sorrells—I tailored their lines to what I knew they could pull off.

Michael Den Boer: Hardbodies was originally intended to be a movie made specifically for Playboy TV. After working with New Line Cinema on Lucky 13 were you ever apprehensive about working with Columbia Pictures, another major studio, again?

Mark Griffiths: Since both Lucky 13 and HB were pick-ups, I never actually worked for either New Line or Columbia, except in re-cuts after previews (in the case of Columbia). The deal in place with Playboy TV was bought out when Columbia came on board.

Michael Den Boer: The rock band Vixen makes an appearance in Hardbodies, and they also appear on the soundtrack for the film. How did they become involved in the film?

Mark Griffiths: Vixen was a band that our music supervisor found. They hadn’t had any hits, although we used songs off their album as playback to film scenes too.

Michael Den Boer: Looking back on Hardbodies, is there anything that you would have done differently?

Mark Griffiths: Looking back at Hardbodies, I can’t imagine doing anything differently—it’s all too far in the past to linger over.

Michael Den Boer: When originally released, was Hardbodies successful?

Mark Griffiths: The original release of HB did all right. It really hit the big time on home video and cable. It was early in the video boom and sold very solidly.

Michael Den Boer: Are there any plans for a DVD release for Hardbodies anytime in the near future?

Mark Griffiths: As far as I know, there are no plans for Columbia, who owns the film, to release it on DVD—although I suspect it would still do well.

Michael Den Boer: After Hardbodies, did you intend on making a sequel?

Mark Griffiths: I hadn’t intended to make a sequel to HB, but that’s where typecasting comes in, even for directors. I was suddenly seen as a “beach-movie director” and couldn’t get anything else going—so when the offer came to make a sequel, I took it.

Michael Den Boer: In Hardbodies 2, all but two of the original cast were recast. Was there some hesitation in making a sequel with new actors in familiar roles?

Mark Griffiths: HB2 was shot in Greece, and if nothing else, we all had a ball filming it—although it is one of my least favorite films. Grant Cramer, the original Scotty, didn’t want to be typecast and turned them down for the sequel. Courtney wanted to do it but had problems getting a passport and couldn’t get over in time for the shoot. Courtney is an original, and there was no way to find someone to fill his role, so we went with someone entirely different.

Michael Den Boer: You have worked with Sorrells Pickard in a total of four films: Lucky 13, Hardbodies, Hardbodies 2 and Ultraviolet. What do you remember most about working with Sorrell?

Mark Griffiths: Working with Sorrells was always filled with laughs. He was a fun, lovable, big-hearted Southern songwriter/performer. He could pull off lines that nobody else could touch. Bring a laugh to almost any situation. He died several years ago, and I miss him. He had Great Spirit and was always totally cooperative.

Summary:

Three wealthy businessmen, while on vacation in California, are tricked into renting a beach house by a local stud named Scotty. He convinces them that, with his help, he can get the older men laid by the finest girls on the beach.

There are two kinds of teen movies that emerged during the 1980s: ones that were edgy yet never vulgar, like the John Hughes films A Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and then there were the films that were downright raunchy and focused heavily on sex, like Porky’s and Hardbodies. The later film Hardbodies was directed by Mark Griffiths, a relative newcomer who had only one film under his belt before directing Hardbodies.

Though Hardbodies has plenty of eye candy, it really shines the most in its screenplay, which was also co-written by Griffiths. Hardbodies is filled with solid one-liners, like a scene where Hunter asks a hot chick if she wants to do something and she replies, “I don’t fuck fossils for free.” The situations that unfold as the story progresses include a scene where a character named Rounder pretends to be a fashion photographer. He photographs various beautiful women who are eager to take things to the next level by undressing to impress him. The scene's humor lies not in the willingness of these attractive women but in the fact that Rounder's camera still has its lens cover on. None of the girls realize this, nor do they notice that he never reloads his film.

Surprisingly, all the male characters except for Hunter don’t come off as perverts, and one is able to feel some sympathy for most of them. Hunter is the king of leeches, as he uses everyone he comes in contact with, and when he is done with them, he then discards them. Look out for the all-girl metal group Vixen, who are essentially playing themselves in this film; only they have an absurd band name, “Diaper Rash.” The music they perform shows signs of what was to come from these ladies, with tracks like "Computer Madness" and "Give It a Chance" being prominently played throughout.

While the acting is not particularly impressive, it serves its purpose, with the two main characters, Scotty and Rag, portrayed by Grant Cramer and Courtney Gains, delivering performances that often surpass the film's modest ambitions. Grant Cramer, who has kept busy since making Hardbodies, is most known for Killer Klowns from Outer Space. He delivers the performance of his career as Scotty Palmer, and in the years since Hardbodies, he has failed to capture so brilliantly the essence of any character he has since played.

No one played the sidekick better than Courtney Gains (Can’t Buy Me Love) in the 1980s. He is hilarious as Rag, who is blessed with the skill of flipping someone in forty-five different languages. Ultimately, what makes Hardbodies so enjoyable is its straightforwardness; it never pretends to be anything more than an irreverent comedy filled with plenty of T&A.

Mill Creek Entertainment gives Hardbodies a lackluster audio/video presentation that is in line with their other home media releases.